Some of our staff have developed workbooks and packs, with strategies, techniques and ideas which can help you to manage your wellbeing.
We're also adding some documents and tips which can support creative or therapeutic activities further down this page.
Having a self-soothe box can help us to cope when we feel sad, angry, worried, or stressed.
You can make your own box, or support someone else to make one.
Here is our self-soothe box guide made by Oldham learning disability team.
1. Sight or vision
Write down some things you like to look at. Add these to your box.
Some ideas are favourite photos or pictures. Magazines or books. Sensory items such as snow globes or glitter bottles. A colourful kaleidoscope. Glow sticks.
2. Hearing or listening
Write down things that you like to listen to. Pick things that make nice relaxing or interesting sounds to add to your box.
Some ideas are: Favourite CDs. Relaxation CDs. A list of my favourite ‘feel good’ songs to type in YouTube. Rattles or rain makers. A card with a reminder to stop and listen to all of the different sounds around me.
3. Smelling or sniffing
Write down smells that you like. Pick some relaxing smells or very strong smells to put in your box that will be nice to smell.
Some ideas are: Coffee beans. Nice smelling perfume or aftershave. Scented hand cream. Essential oils or bubble bath. Scented pens, pencils or crayons.
4. Taste
Write down things you like to taste. Pick some nice tastes that help you feel good. Or pick strong tastes that might take your mind off difficult things.
Some ideas are: Chocolate. Strong mints. Strong or sour tasting sweets. Herbal tea bags.
5. Touch or feel
Write down things that feel nice to touch. Pick some things that feel nice to touch, hold, or put on your body.
Some ideas are: Soft, fluffy items or fabrics. Stress or squashy balls to squeeze. Hand cream to massage hands and arms. Bubble wrap to pop. Fidget cubes or spinners. Stretchy items like resistance bands. Pots of slime or play dough. Weighted items like a lap pad or shoulder wrap.
6. Other things that might help
Some other things that might help are: Colouring books. Puzzle books. Reminder cards to go for a walk, draw your feelings, phone a friend, have a bath, do deep and relaxed breathing. Coping cards with words like 'this feeling will pass' or “you will get through this”.
7. Putting it all together
Put all the things in a box that is nice to look at.
It can help you feel better and calmer when your feelings are getting too big. It might help keep your safe.
You can use it whenever you want.
Think about where is the best place for the box to go, your bedroom or somewhere else.
Julie Greenwood, children's bereavement counsellor with #Thrive, has created grief cards to help parents or carers support grieving children.
You can download a pdf version of the grief cards or read the text from them below:
Grieve openly – it is through this children learn.
Children will often imitate the grieving behaviour of their parents. It is important to show your emotions as it reassures children that feeling sad or upset is okay. Your children need you to be a model, not a hero. Share your feelings with your child. Talk about the person who has died. Light candles, start memory boxes, recognise special occasions, and share stories. Incorporate new traditions or rituals.
Reassurance – give your child reassurance.
Parents/carers want to take away the child’s pain and it is frustrating that you can’t. Remember it is okay not to be okay. Remind your child that they are loved and that you are there for them. A child’s sense of safety can be shaken and cause separation anxiety. This will become better overtime. Children feel secure and reassured with consistent rules and routines but parents also need to be flexible in our expectations. Changes in a child’s, concentration levels, progress at school, sleep and appetite disturbances, dramatic fluctuations in mood, and even apathy are all common reactions to grief.
Information – clear, honest and age-appropriate information.
Children pick up on atmosphere and will be aware that there is something that everyone else knows about but not them. They can become hypervigilant and try and listen to all “secretive chats”. Children are imaginative, and in stressful situations they may imagine far worse than what is actually happening. Involve them in some of the decision making for the funeral and other rituals. Use simple words appropriate for the child’s age and understanding. It is much more helpful for children when adults use words such as ‘dead’ and ‘died’ rather than euphemisms. Young children may need repeated explanations and answers. Try not to give all the information in one go and disclose in stages. Check their understanding from the talk. They may have misunderstood what you have said.
Encourage – your child to talk.
Children of all ages do not like to feel under pressure to express powerful emotions; it can feel too painful or just not the right time. Talking is only one way of doing this there are alternatives like creative work, memory work, journals etc. Teenagers can be resistant to conversations with parents at the best of times. They usually disclose to their close friends which is okay. However, remind them that you’re there if and when they need. Anger is an understandable response to bereavement. Encourage the child or young person to vent their anger in a safe way. It is okay to feel angry but not okay to hurt themselves or other people.
Feelings – how different age groups express grief.
Adults can often feel overwhelmed by grief, as if they are caught in the current of a river and find it hard to get out. Young children in particular, tend to ‘jump’ in and out of their grief – a little like jumping in and out of a puddle. Increased anger and tantrums – often linked with anxiety, may be more clingy, may become more withdrawn or anxious, reverting to behaviours they had when they were younger e.g. bedwetting, thumb sucking. Teenagers can feel worse about themselves, become withdrawn, engage in risk-taking behaviours and test boundaries. They may start to ask questions around the meaning of life: What’s the point? Why did this happen to them? Exploring their thoughts and validating their feelings is important. It can also help them to know that this is a very normal feeling of grief.
Being creative is good for your mental health and wellbeing.
Hospital Rooms have created a digital art school with guides and art activities you can try to unleash your creative side. These are also useful if you're looking to learn something new, or just for something to do.